


Lilacs in Vermont

by pseudosmodingium



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Bisexual Dean, Dean and Adam are not related, Gay Castiel, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Prostitution, Pining, a charming B&B in Vermont
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7112401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudosmodingium/pseuds/pseudosmodingium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean, about ten years after having escaped his troublesome past, has recently taken over the management of a charming B&B in Vermont. His life is about to change again as a handsome, blue-eyed man named Cas comes to stay with his boyfriend. Not knowing that he is linked to Cas in some way, Dean starts to develop certain feelings – being unaware that they are being reciprocated. A whole year passes, before the circumstances are finally resolved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lilacs in Vermont

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever.  
> Writing this story was fun; I hope, reading will be as well.  
> 

As Dean heard the front door swing open, he let his eyes wander from the booking table on his computer, over the counter, to the person entering. He had already put on the charming smile he always used to greet his guests with, when suddenly, upon recognizing the friendly face, the corners of his mouth reached higher and a slight sparkle flashed over his pupils.

**

Dean didn’t have much of a family left when he dropped out of high school at the age of seventeen. Sure, there was his brother Sam, a gifted kid who always buried his nose into books, and Bobby, who had taken the two boys in, after both their parents had died. However, Sam, who was four years younger than Dean, lived his own life. Of course he let Dean step in for him when someone bullied him – that’s what big brothers are for, Dean had repeatedly reminded him. Apart from that it was only familial obligation that kept them together. And the older sibling didn’t mind. Sammy shouldn’t turn out to be such a failure like Dean had always felt to be.  
Bobby, on the other hand, had tried his best for both boys to make something of their lives, but the older one constantly made him worry, which led to an increase of his whiskey consumption. Dean was a troubled kid and the roots of this may not only be that they had lost their parents at a young age – Dean at fourteen and Sam at ten respectively – but also his father’s abusive nature that developed after their mother, his wife, had tragically died in a house fire. After quitting school Dean spent one and a half years doing nothing in particular, except for a few jobs he kept getting himself fired of after only a few days. Apart from that he engaged in exploring how much alcohol his body could consume before collapsing, and killing time with other kids who didn’t have any prospects in their life. One of those kids – he was rather a twenty-something who had decided to not grow up – introduced Dean to the easy way of earning money by giving blow jobs to spoiled rich assholes like Michael Celestino, heir to the Celestino family fortune and real estate empire.  
Although Dean was mostly into girls, he sometimes enjoyed this line of work when the guy he was sucking off didn’t treat him like the piece of human trash that he actually was.  
Dean’s destructive behavior mounted in numerous arrests for DUI, vandalism and eventually assault, due to a fight which left him much worse beat up than his opponent. In the aftermath of that night, Bobby came to realize that all his efforts in changing Dean’s attitude had failed and he couldn’t handle the boy anymore. So he made the decision to send him to his old friend Rufus, who owned a Bed and Breakfast in a quiet little town in Vermont. Rufus was eager to take Dean under his wings because liked to drill young folks and he also really needed some help at work as he gradually felt too old for this shit. Honestly, he loved his B&B, but being up on his feet all day had been hella lot easier when his hip hadn’t troubled him most of the day.

*

Rufus, Vermont and the lack of bad influence finally made a change to Dean’s life. He had to admit to himself that he was a little scared of the rough person Rufus seemed to be when he first arrived in New England. After a few months the old man turned out to become less of a father figure to Dean, but a very close friend. The small town with its neat Victorian buildings, perfectly trimmed lawns, lovingly arranged flower beds and its nice inhabitants started to grow on Dean and he stopped missing his old home with Bobby and Sam in South Dakota. Everything was so much less complicated here. He had his work at the B&B, enjoyed conversations with the guests, befriended the neighbors and, most importantly, for the first time in his life he felt needed and valued.  
With every year that passed since Dean had come to his support, Rufus entrusted more and more responsibilities to the boy and when Dean turned 25, he informed the younger man that it would soon be time for him to take over the business, as Rufus was about to retire. A few days after his 26th birthday, Dean officially became the new manager of the Lilac Bed and Breakfast and Bobby and Sam came to celebrate the promotion. His little brother had made it into Standford and would soon start law school. Bobby felt relieved that his troublesome boy’s life had finally turned out the best imaginable way. He was so proud of Dean and a little envious that Rufus had succeeded in what Bobby himself hadn’t been able to do.

*

Dean had a few girlfriends over the years. He didn’t exactly live in a place where he could frequently meet other people that were his age, but that never really bothered him. Five years ago, at 23, he had a slight crush on a boy, Aaron, from New York, who had come to help out in his grandfather’s bookstore over the summer, but nothing happened, aside from that one time they drunkenly made out after having celebrated Aaron’s birthday and newly attained legal drinking age with two six-packs. For quite a while now, Carmen was his girlfriend. She had moved here from Boston two years ago to support her elderly aunt and uncle by working in their antiques store down the road. Their motivations, that had brought them here, seemed quite similar – both were to assist their seniors – but different from Dean, Carmen had caring and well-to-do parents and her move to Vermont occurred voluntarily. That was one of the reasons Dean liked her. Others were her perky humor and her beautiful dark hair. Dean was glad to spend time with her now and then, but he was too occupied with work to let himself deepen the relationship. However, maybe that was just an excuse. He really had a lot to do with keeping the B&B running and there was always something to do with old houses like the Lilac, but when Dean was totally honest with himself, he knew that he didn’t actually love Carmen like he wanted to do. He loved her for being the wonderful person that she was; it just wasn’t the right kind of love that Dean hoped to eventually find in his life. Still, Dean carried on with convincing himself that Carmen was what he wanted and deserved right now and that his love life didn’t need any change.

*

Cas stopped the car in front of the Victorian house that a sign on the roadside identified as ‘Lilac Bed and Breakfast’. The building’s wooden façade was painted in fine lavender, an old oak tree provided shade from the spring sun and lilacs were blooming right behind the white picket fence. Cas wasn’t surprised that this house was called Lilac B&B.  
‘It’s really kitschy. I’m sure the old folks who own this place are going to invite us to bingo at the community center or to a pottery workshop or whatever boring stuff those people like to do,’ Adam complained. ‘Why don’t we just stay at your parents’ house?’  
Cas took a deep breath to calm himself that he had to discuss this issue again.  
‘Because I might kill one of my brothers if I have to stay at that crowded place for more than a few hours.’  
He paused and thought of other plausible arguments to not stay at the mansion during the annual Celestino family meeting.  
‘You know, I am really looking forward to meeting your dad and I think we could get to know each other better if we stayed at his place,’ Adam said, before Cas could continue his lecture.  
‘And if you lived there for a whole year – he would still ignore you as much as he always ignored me. Don’t count on getting anywhere near him with my brothers surrounding him like watchdogs,’ Cas concluded.  
Meeting his siblings and getting so close to his father still stressed him out. Cas had a whole lot of brothers and sisters, only very few of which he got along with. Cas was Charles Celestino’s third wife’s son. His father was currently married to wife number five. Charles had never paid much attention to his kids, aside from his sons from his first marriage. Michael and Raphael were destined to take over the family business. Originally, Gabriel had been part of this plan as well, but he soon bucked against his father’s ideas and went to Los Angeles to pursue a career in television. What really bothered Charles Celestino was, that Gabriel succeeded and built his own empire, consisting of several TV networks.  
Gabriel was Cas’ shining example. Not that he wanted to work in the television industry himself, he rather enjoyed TV passively; but how Gabriel had found his own way without help from his family – that was what Cas really admired about him. Cas was quite committed to charity work. He actively took part in it. Unlike other people his family was surrounded by, he wanted to do more than just collect money for others to work with. Of course, that was part of the job as well, but he actually participated in building houses for the homeless, cooked meals for the hungry and supported people without a voice to be heard. Yet, his number one mission was to save the bees. Without them, all life on earth would die.  
Cas parked the car next to the sidewalk and leaned over to Adam. ‘Please, do it for me. By the way, if we stay here, we can spend a romantic weekend all alone. Apart from dinner tomorrow we don’t even have to leave our room. And I’m sure the bed is going to be all soft and cuddly.’ He gently kissed Adam on the mouth and awaited his boyfriend’s reaction with a smile.  
‘Fine,’ Adam finally said, ‘but you’ll have to be very, very nice to me.’  
‘I will,’ Cas answered with a wink and exited the car.  
‘Just one thing,’ Cas said, as they walked up the path to the front door, ‘could you check us in. I don’t need everyone around here to know who my father is. I’d rather stay incognito.’  
‘As you wish,’ Adam stated and received a peck on the cheek.

*

The B&B’s interior was clad in dark wood and cream wallpaper with a slightly darker unicolored floral pattern. Just as you would expect such a house to look like, Cas thought. The room was furnished with antiques and a lilac bouquet – certainly harvested from the plants in the front yard – garnished the front desk. How peculiar it all was; Cas loved it.  
A young, dark-blonde man entered from the back room behind the reception and greeted them with a warm smile. ‘Hello, welcome! How can I help you?’ Cas immediately noticed the pleasant sound of his voice and the friendly look on his freckled face that wrinkled the corners of his eyes.  
‘Hello! We would like to stay here over the weekend. We haven’t pre-booked a room, but this place looked so nice that we hoped you have vacancies,’ Adam told the man.  
‘I’m pleased to hear that you like the house. You’re lucky, I have several rooms to offer.’  
‘I think we’d like the one with the coziest bed,’ Adam said with a smirk. The statement made Cas blush and he embarrassedly patted Adam’s elbow.  
‘Alright,’ the man said and grinned knowingly.  
After the whole procedure of checking in, he handed Adam the room key and a card on which he wrote the Wi-Fi password.  
‘So, Mr Milligan…’  
‘Adam, please. That’s Cas.’  
‘Right, Adam and Cas. I’m Dean, by the way. If there is anything more I can do for you, please feel free to ask.’  
‘Thank you,’ Adam replied and led Cas upstairs, with his hand resting on his boyfriend’s back.  
‘Well, so much for old folks and bingo,’ Cas teased Adam, keeping his voice low.  
‘Shut up,’ Adam said and giggled.

*

Dean still had a smile on his face after the couple had left for their room. They were cute together. He wondered if he and Carmen made that same impression on other people. Adam seemed like a really nice guy, but Cas, although he hadn’t said a word during their whole encounter, evoked a feeling in Dean that he couldn’t quite define. Yet – he knew that much – it was a good feeling.

*

One hour later they were about to head out again for an early dinner, when Adam’s phone rang.  
‘Hi, mom. I told you, I’m on a weekend trip with Cas.’ Adam looked a little annoyed and gestured towards Cas that this conversation could take a while.  
‘I’ll wait downstairs,’ Cas mouthed and closed the door behind him.  
As he reached the first floor, he started to wander around and peeked into the breakfast room, which was furnished with Shaker style tables and chairs. The guest lounge was occupied by a comfortable looking pale blue sofa, flanked by a pair of side tables crowned with Tiffany lamps, and two matching arm chairs.  
As he heard footsteps approach behind him, he turned around to meet Dean’s bright eyes. ‘That’s a really nice place you have here,’ Cas said.  
Dean hadn’t expected Cas to have such a gravelly voice. It was kinda sexy.  
‘Thanks. It used to be my friend’s parents’ home. They collected design classics all their life. After their passing he decided to turn the house into a Bed and Breakfast.’  
‘So your friend owns the B&B?’  
‘Yeah, but he retired two years ago and I followed as manager,’ Dean explained.  
Cas raised an eyebrow in interest. ‘How long have you been working here?’ he asked.  
‘I came here when I was almost nineteen. That’s when my B&B career started,’ Dean replied and laughed. ‘What do you do?’ he continued.  
‘Um, lots of charity work, activism…’ Cas didn’t know how to respond without giving away too much about himself.  
‘Oh, cool,’ Dean said and felt like an idiot for not being able to find a proper answer to that. He meant it; Cas engaging in beneficence really sounded cool.  
They both fell silent and shyly looked into different directions. After a while, Cas took a breath as if he wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Adam calling his name from the entry area.  
‘I’m here,’ he let Adam know.  
‘Dean and I were just chatting a little,’ Cas explained, when Adam found them.  
‘Hey, are you ready?’ Adam asked with a slight nod towards Dean.  
‘Yeah, sure. It was nice talking to you, Dean. See you,’ Cas excused himself and they left.  
Dean watched them go away and when he heard the front door getting closed, he remained standing there for a while, repeating the whole conversation in his mind.

*

When Adam and Cas returned, they were greeted by an attractive dark-haired woman. As they went upstairs, Cas stopped and turned his head around upon hearing Dean’s voice. He couldn’t hear what Dean and the woman were talking about, but came to the conclusion that she must be Dean’s girlfriend as he kissed her goodbye before she left.  
‘Cas?’ Adam called from further above.  
‘Coming!’ Cas replied, awaking from his stream of thought.  
‘It’s time for you to keep your promise from before,’ Adam told him. Cas didn’t quite seem to get what his boyfriend was talking about. Adam raised both his eyebrows and put on a duck face, as if he were about to take a girly selfie.  
‘Oh, yes. It’s time for me to be really, really nice to you,’ Cas said with a roguish smile when he finally understood and grabbed Adam by his collar.  
‘Yes, it is,’ the other man said, kissed Cas passionately and fumbled with the room key to get the door open as soon as possible.

*

At quarter to eleven Dean was sunk into one of the blue armchairs in the lounge, a glass of whiskey in the right hand. He jerked into awareness as he spotted someone standing in the doorway.  
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,’ Cas said.  
‘It’s okay. Can I do something for you?’ Dean asked.  
‘I just can’t sleep and got bored of counting sheep and listening to Adam snore.’  
‘Alright. Wanna sit here with me and have some really nice whiskey?’ Dean suggested.  
‘I’d love to,’ Cas answered and sat down at the end of the sofa that was closest to Dean.  
Dean stood up and rushed into another room to get a second glass. Then he poured some whiskey for Cas, handed him the glass and placed the bottle back on the coaster on the side table.  
‘That’s a Johnnie Walker Blue Label. It’s my friend Rufus’ favorite. He gave it to me when he put the B&B into my hands,’ Dean explained.  
‘Thanks for sharing it with me. To your friend Rufus then,’ Cas said as he raised his glass.  
Dean smiled and agreed. ‘To Rufus.’  
They sat quiet for a while, taking a sip now and then.  
‘Rufus really saved my life, you know,’ Dean eventually broke the silence.  
Cas looked at Dean who was staring into the half-dark.  
‘I was a real mess before I came here; Rufus totally changed that. I owe him a lot.’  
‘Where did you grow up?’ Cas asked.  
‘I was born in Kansas, but my brother and I moved in with my dad’s friend Bobby in South Dakota after his death. We had already lost our mom when Sam, my brother, was still a baby.’  
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Cas said.  
Dean didn’t respond to Cas’ sympathies. Instead he changed the subject by bringing up the question, ‘what does Cas stand for, if you don’t mind me asking?’  
‘It’s short for Castiel.’  
‘That’s an unusual name…’  
‘My dad picked all his kid’s names. He has this angel name fetish…he’s kinda religious, you know…or at least he’s very interested in Bible-related stuff. My oldest brothers are named after archangels.’  
Cas raised his glass to his mouth and took a gulp.  
‘I have the feeling this topic makes you nervous,’ Dean noticed.  
‘The relationship with my family isn’t the best and we are here to meet them tomorrow, which is, to be honest, probably one of the reasons I have trouble falling asleep.’  
‘Is it because, you know, you and Adam are…’ Dean didn’t really know how to finish the question.  
‘No, it’s nothing about that. My whole family knows I’m gay and no one really cares. It’s just that my siblings and I don’t get along too well and my dad has always been very distant. It’s like I don’t even know him.’  
‘I also wasn’t blessed with the best dad in the world. He didn’t make life easier for me by treating me like an equal grown-up and expecting me to be obedient at the same time,’ Dean told him. He opened the whiskey bottle and gave them both a refill.  
‘How was it for you, spending all those years living in this small town, working at a B&B while still being so young?’ Cas continued their conversation, ‘didn’t you have the urge to do something more exciting, like, travel for instance? I can’t quite imagine that there are many opportunities here for young people to get entertained.’  
‘You know, I experienced very exciting years when I was much younger, and I guess that was enough for a whole lifetime. Did you keep yourself entertained by doing exciting stuff?’ Dean asked.  
‘Still do,’ Cas said and laughed. ‘Nah, I’ve never been the wild kind of person. Maybe now and then during my college years, but I’ve mostly lived a quiet life. Still, I liked to travel, explore, but I’d like to settle down by degrees, find the right place to be.’  
Dean nodded, understanding.  
Cas looked at the bronze clock that was quietly ticking on the opposite wall and, upon realizing that it was already ten past twelve, he fell out of the relaxed mood they had been in seconds before and emptied his glass.  
‘I’m sorry, Dean, that I have kept you awake for so long. I should go now.’  
‘No need to apologize. I really enjoyed your company. Anyhow, I constantly run on only a few hours of sleep,’ he calmed Cas down.  
Cas smiled, thanked Dean for the whiskey and wished him a good night.  
‘Good night, Cas.’ Dean couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear until he fell into his bed twenty minutes later.

*

The next afternoon Adam and Cas came downstairs to leave for the unavoidable family dinner at the Celestino mansion. Cas had missed Dean during breakfast. Instead, a blonde girl, named Jo, had looked after the guests and had them served with coffee. Therefore, Cas was pleasantly surprised to spot Dean behind the front desk now. He noticed the tenseness on Cas’ face whereby he could guess the couple’s intentions.  
‘Ready for the lion’s den?’ Dean asked.  
‘Not really,’ Cas answered, ‘but as long as I’ll keep a low profile, it won’t be that bad.’  
‘I’ll take care of you,’ Adam encouraged him and squeezed Cas’ shoulder.  
‘Thanks. Bye, Dean,’ Cas said with a sigh and they headed out.

*

Dean was still busy with the bookkeeping in his office behind the reception, when he heard voices in a heated argument outside.  
‘I told you not to try and get through to my dad!’ Cas yelled, as he opened the door.  
‘Well, your brother didn’t let me anyway. I just wanted to say ‘hi, nice to meet you, I admire your work, especially this blue-eyed fella here’. So, sorry if I humiliated you by trying to end up on good terms with your family,’ Adam defended himself.  
‘You almost punched Michael in the face! If it hadn’t been for Gabriel…’  
‘I wasn’t trying to punch him,’ Adam interrupted his boyfriend, ‘I just signaled him to back off.’  
They paused their fight for a few seconds, before Cas continued, ‘I’ll tell you what I think; you just use me to get something of my dad to your advantage and…’  
‘How can you even say something like that?’ Adam said in bewilderment.  
‘I…,’ Cas resumed, when Dean, who had stepped out of his office, cut him off. ‘Guys, could you please keep your voices down. The other guests are trying to sleep.’  
‘Sorry,’ Cas said, remorsefully looking down to his feet after his eyes had met Dean’s.  
‘Yeah, sorry man,’ Adam agreed. He took a deep breath and headed upstairs without indicating Cas to come after him.  
‘Rough night, hm?’ Dean asked when Cas didn’t make any attempt to move or speak.  
‘I’m so sorry, Dean. We won’t cause any more trouble, I promise. Good night,’ he said, while staring at Dean with huge ocean-blue eyes under wrinkled brows, and followed Adam to their room.  
For some reason, Dean really felt bad for Cas and couldn’t find a way to concentrate on his work anymore, so he decided to call it a night as well.

*

While eating their breakfast in the morning, they talked now and then, but their argument from the night before still clouded the atmosphere. After they had returned to their room and lain down, both men had been restlessly rolling from one position to another, not being able to sleep, until Cas had turned the light back on and they, full of regret, made up. As the pair had finished breakfast, they went back to their room to pack their stuff and checked out. When Adam was putting the baggage into the trunk of his boyfriend’s car, Dean and Cas stood next to each other in the front yard.  
‘Sorry again for last night,’ Cas apologized.  
‘It’s okay. I won’t put you on the B&B’s blacklist because of that,’ Dean answered by trying to brighten Cas up with a joke.  
‘Then we’re coming back here again sometime,’ Cas assured him and gently patted Dean between the shoulder blades. ‘Goodbye, Dean.’  
‘Goodbye, Cas. Have a save trip home.’ Dean watched the other man walk towards the car, seated himself on the driver’s side, Adam already next to him, and they drove away.  
Guests, who he had befriended with, always left an empty feeling inside Dean after their departure. However, this time he actually felt sad.

**

A year had passed since then and Dean was suddenly cheerful, as he saw Cas enter the Lilac B&B.  
‘Hey, Cas! You’re back!’ he exclaimed, but silenced himself before he could say something sappy to embarrass himself with.  
‘Hi, Dean. I want to apologize in advance that, again, I haven’t made a reservation. I tried to wriggle out of my family commitments, but my father insisted on me attending tonight’s dinner. I sincerely hope that you still have a room for me,’ Cas said.  
‘Uh…y-yeah…yes, of course,’ Dean stammered. He just couldn’t hide his joyousness over the situation.  
‘Great,’ Cas replied and smiled back at him.  
For a moment, Dean just stood there like an idiot; his brain’s command to start with checking Cas in had gone lost on the way to eventual execution.  
He was finally brought back into reality by his cell phone.  
‘Shit…sorry, I have to take this,’ Dean excused himself and called Jo to come from the back office. ‘Hey, would you be so kind to check this gentleman here in? Thanks,’ he said and disappeared into the room the blonde woman had just entered from, and closed the door behind him.  
When she looked up from Cas’ driver’s license, she asked him, ‘excuse me, do you happen to be related to Charles Celestino, the real estate magnate?’  
‘Please, don’t ask…’ he answered with a sigh.  
When they had completed all formalities and Jo had handed him his room key, Cas still heard Dean talking on the phone, so he decided to go upstairs right away.

*

After Dean had finished his call, he went back outside to the front desk, just to find out that Cas had already left for his room. There was no way to express how thrilled he was upon Cas’ unexpected return. He had felt dejected for a few days after Cas had left the year before and he would be dishonest with himself if he wouldn’t admit that he had thought of Cas occasionally over the past year.  
He would also remember their conversations while lying in bed before falling asleep and spinning their dialogue even further than it had actually gone. He would think of putting his hand over Cas’, feeling the other man’s warm and soft skin under his fingertips. He would think of stroking the dark hair and…but that was just stupid. Cas wasn’t into him like that. Otherwise he would have come back earlier and, although he had come here alone this time, he certainly still had a boyfriend.  
‘Just stop it!’ he told himself.

*

Forty minutes later, Cas had changed his jeans and polo shirt for a dark blue suit, a white long-sleeved shirt and a purple tie. As he passed the reception, Dean was nowhere to be seen. Through the curtain, that screened the window next to the front door, he spotted a figure in the yard. Cas went outside to find Dean there, watering the flowers under the window.  
‘Hey,’ he said.  
‘Oh, hi,’ Dean replied, putting down the watering can. ‘Are you about to leave for the dinner?’  
‘I’m waiting for my brother to pick me up. I’m not really looking forward to being stuck with him in a car for half an hour, but at least I don’t have to stay sober tonight.’  
‘A silver lining.’  
‘Yeah,’ Cas said and chuckled.  
After thinking about how to continue, Dean asked, ‘so, what about Adam? Are you two still together, I mean, because he didn’t come with you this time…’  
‘Adam and I broke up – not long after our stay here,’ Cas stated nonchalantly.  
‘Oh, that’s…’  
‘It’s fine. It was the right thing to do. I didn’t really love him and he didn’t really love me.’  
‘Oh, I see…’  
They paused their conversation again for a moment.  
‘What about your girlfriend? You know, the pretty one with the dark hair,’ Cas eventually said.  
‘Who? Uh, Carmen? Well, we broke up too, for kind of the same reason,’ Dean explained.  
Cas didn’t respond to that.  
‘I’m just hoping to find the right person to be with, you know,’ Dean continued.  
Cas looked at him. ‘He said person, not woman,’ he thought. He hesitated for a second, then told himself, ‘fuck it’, leaned over and pressed a tender kiss against Dean’s lips.  
As Cas was about to withdraw his head, Dean grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him back into the kiss. Dean let out a soft hum in pleasure as Cas brought a hand up to his face, right underneath his ear, and started to stroke Dean’s cheek with his thumb.  
When they parted, Cas’ hand was still resting on Dean’s right side of the face. He drank in the deep blue sea of Cas’ eyes that were staring at him in anticipation of a reaction.  
Though Dean’s breathing was steady, his heart beat rapidly and he heard his pulse drumming in his ears.  
‘What was that?’ he thought, ‘what just happened?’  
Oh god, Cas’ lips were so soft and he smelled so good!  
In his buzz, Dean hadn’t noticed the car that had just stopped in front of the B&B.  
‘Hey, brother, you coming?’ the driver yelled through the wound down window.  
Cas turned his face towards the car, then back to Dean. ‘We’ll talk later,’ he directed at him and let his hand slide down from Dean’s face. Then he jogged down the path to the car and got in.  
Before setting off, the man behind the wheel took a glance at the man who stayed behind. Dean suddenly broke out in cold sweat when he met his eyes. Dizziness and nausea flooded his body as he recognized Michael Celestino’s disdaining grimace.  
After he had recovered a little from his shock, he rushed inside to the front desk and took a look at the schedule on his computer. Cas’ full name was Castiel Celestino. He was Michael Celestino’s brother.

*

‘What’s going on between you and that guy,’ Michael questioned his younger brother.  
‘I don’t exactly know yet,’ Cas responded.  
‘Oh, come on! You want to fuck him, I can smell that.’  
Cas rolled his eyes as Michael spoke.  
‘Do I know him? He looked familiar.’  
‘I’m quite sure you don’t. His name is Dean. He manages the B&B I’m staying at.’  
‘Dean, Dean, Dean…holy shit! I knew I’ve met him before!’ Michael exclaimed with a snort.  
‘What? Where?’ Cas asked.  
‘Back in South Dakota when I sealed the deal in Sioux Falls for dad.’  
‘And how did you end up meeting Dean?’ Cas continued his interrogation.  
‘Uh, I was at a bar with some of the guys and there was this kid – I don’t recall his name – who said he had a special offer for important business gentlemen like us…what a pathetic ass-kisser! Anyhow, good luck with your friend; he certainly likes a dick in his mouth,’ Michael said and laughed out loud.  
All Cas could do, was to stare out of the windshield, after Michael had finished his story.  
He hadn’t thought it to be possible to loathe his brother even more. He had tainted Dean, who was so perfect and pure in his eyes, and hadn’t even hesitated to tell him about it.  
As the car finally stopped on the driveway in front of the Celestino mansion, Cas immediately got out and headed purposefully towards the nearest liquor-loaded tray, took a glass in each hand and emptied both in one gulp.

*

So, his past had finally caught up with him. Here, in a B&B in Vermont – Dean still couldn’t believe it.  
Would Michael tell Cas about him? Had he even recognized him? Still, Cas was that dickhead’s brother. He had sucked the guy’s cock multiple times – and those weren’t the ones he had enjoyed.  
What was he supposed to tell Cas, if he didn’t already know? Should he tell him at all? On what terms did they part? Did Cas have feelings for him?  
All those questions in his head made his vision blur; he wasn’t able to think straight. He needed a drink – now.

*

Cas hadn’t made it back to the B&B that night. He had been so utterly hammered that he had just collapsed somewhere in the house. When he woke up around noon, he noticed that someone had laid him on the sofa in one of the guest rooms. As he sat up, he felt that he was going to throw up and hurried to the bathroom. After that, he was slightly better, although he felt like his head was about to explode and there was a wild rumble going on in his guts. A few minutes later he noticed that the room was occupied by someone else; a pair of high-heels was scattered on the floor, a black Chanel dress was draped over one of the chairs and make-up articles were spread out all over the table under the mirror.  
Suddenly, the door was opened and his sister Hannah entered the room. In her hand she held a glass in which an aspirin tablet was dissolving with a prickle.  
‘Hey there, how are you?’ she asked and handed him the glass.  
‘I’ve felt better,’ he answered, then took a sip.  
‘Do you want to talk about it?’  
‘No,’ he said and drank up.  
‘I could give you a lift to wherever you’re staying, if you want,’ Hannah told him.  
‘Thanks, I’ll accept that offer,’ Cas replied.

*

Dean was a little worried about Cas not having returned yet. He hadn’t come back at night and still there was no sign of him during breakfast hours. Maybe he just hadn’t found someone to drive him back to the B&B or he changed his mind and decided to sleep at his parents’ home. Surely, he was okay.  
Dean had made up his mind to just wait until Cas arrived and see which way everything was going. There was no point in worrying about the outcome in advance.

*

Hannah had insisted on Cas eating at least a small portion of scrambled eggs and some fried bacon, although that only made him sick again.  
When they arrived at the B&B, it was almost half past three in the afternoon.  
‘Thanks for the ride,’ he said as he opened the door.  
‘Hey, you sure you’re going to be alright?’ Hannah asked him.  
‘Yes, don’t worry, I’ll be fine.’ He gave her a kiss on the cheek and left the car.  
When he entered the house, he found Dean leaning against the front desk.  
‘Hey, Cas. Is everything alright? Because you didn’t come back last night,’ Dean asked him.  
‘Yeah, I just had a few drinks too many, that’s all,’ he answered as he was about to go upstairs.  
‘Cas, can we talk?’ Dean stopped him, holding Cas by the arm.  
‘Later, okay? I need to change and a shower and maybe another aspirin.’  
‘Oh, right,’ Dean said and let go.

*

The warm spray of the shower on his face relieved Cas from most of his physical pain and the sound of water drops hitting the tub cut his perception off from the outside world. He scrubbed the stink of his hangover off his body with soap and shampoo and then just let his tense muscles loosen up under the wet heat that hit his body.  
He thought of Dean, recalling their kiss from the day before, pushing everything that related him to Michael aside for a moment.  
Dean. His charming smile, his friendly voice that sent goosebumps up his back every time he heard it…  
Dean. He rubbed his hands over his chest, slowly wandering downwards between his legs.  
The thought of Dean had accompanied him over the past year. He had been certain that it would go away after a few days, or weeks. At first he had caught himself thinking of Dean while sleeping next to Adam, when masturbating and eventually during sex with his boyfriend.  
After their breakup he had considered driving back to the Lilac B&B, to Dean. He had already been about to actually do it one time, sitting in his car, his hands tight on the wheel but with the engine turned off. He had just been sitting there for a while, soiling the leather with the sweat of his palms, staring into the empty.  
When Cas had finally come to his senses again – Dean was clearly into women, and even if he liked men too, what made him think that Dean had taken any interest in him? – he got out of the car, went back up to his apartment and put himself under a cold shower until his entire body was numb.  
This year’s family meeting turned out to be a curse and a blessing at once. He really hadn’t wanted to go… but he had also wanted to, because that meant he had a casual excuse for staying at Dean’s B&B again.  
When he came he let out a heavy breath, made sure to wash all the evidence of his orgasm off and finished his shower. After he had wrapped his lower body in a towel, he stepped out into the bedroom and just stared at his reflection in the full body mirror that was standing in the corner.

*

It had already been quite a long while since Cas had gone upstairs to his room. Dean didn’t want to make the impression of being impatient but, as Cas hadn’t appeared to be in the best condition, he thought it to be reasonable to check on him.  
‘Cas, is everything okay in there?’ he asked after he had knocked.  
The door opened slightly and he saw that Cas was only in a towel. ‘Yeah, just give me a minute. Will you wait here?’ he said.  
‘Yeah, sure,’ Dean answered and Cas disappeared behind the closing door again.  
After a short period of time, he, now dressed in his jeans from the day before and a loose-fit sailor shirt, opened the door again and told Dean to come in.  
They stood in silence for a while, facing each other.  
‘Um,’ Dean began to speak, ‘do you feel better now?’  
‘Yeah…still a little exhausted, but I’m okay,’ Cas answered.  
Dean didn’t really know what to do next. Should they hug, maybe kiss again? No, they needed to talk first.  
‘The kiss, you know, it was… I didn’t expect that,’ Dean said.  
‘Well, it didn’t seem to bother you,’ Cas noticed.  
‘No, no, I…,’ Dean laughed nervously, ‘it was nice.’  
‘You’re into men as well.’ It was rather a statement than a question.  
‘Um, yes… I think so. I mean, I’ve never been in a relationship with a man, but I’ve, you know, done some things… not sex, really, but…’  
‘I see,’ Cas said. He just kept staring at Dean, not knowing how to continue this conversation and how to bring up what Michael had told him. He just wanted to kiss Dean again, touch him, but he couldn’t. Michael’s disgusting laughter still occupied his head.  
‘When did you find out that you…like to do things, with men?’ Cas finally resumed.  
‘Uh, I don’t know. Maybe, when I was about eighteen.’  
‘Was there someone in particular that you were attracted to?’  
‘Well, I was fooling around a little with older guys… I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger…but it was just like how it was different from being with a girl.’  
Cas didn’t say anything. He seemed to be pondering over what to ask next.  
‘Do you remember my brother, Michael? You know, the one who picked me up yesterday.’  
There it was. Cas knew; he knew about Michael’s ugly dick in his mouth.  
‘Cas, I-I…please let me explain. As I told you before, I’ve done things I’m not proud of when I was a kid, and I didn’t like your brother at all. He was just using me. I didn’t even know that you’re his brother until I saw him yesterday.’  
Cas shook his head and turned his back on him.  
‘Cas, please, that was more than ten years ago,’ Dean begged him.  
‘Dean, could you please leave me alone for a while. I need to think.’ Cas was facing him again as he said that, his mouth forced into a smile but his eyes looking sad.  
‘Cas, I…okay, take your time,’ Dean said, hesitated for a moment, then he left the room.

*

How could he even think that kissing Dean was a good idea? He had been pining for this guy for a year and then he had just decided to go for it.  
Dean kissing him back had been all he ever could have wished for. Then Michael had turned it all into a total disaster…he had already done that before Cas and Dean even met.  
He needed to get out of here before this whole situation made him go insane.  
Cas sloppily stuffed his belongings into his bag and sneaked downstairs, spotting Jo at the reception.  
‘Hey, uh, does Dean happen to be around here somewhere?’  
‘He had to check on something with the bakeshop that supplies us with the bread for our breakfast. He’ll be back in a few minutes. Do you want me to deliver a message?’  
‘No, that won’t be necessary. I’d just like to check out, please.’

*

‘What do you mean, ‘he already checked out’?’ Dean exclaimed.  
Jo shrugged her shoulders and said, ‘well, it means he checked out and left.’  
How did that even happen? He had just been out for ten minutes. Now Cas was gone, without having said goodbye to Dean. He hadn’t had a chance to kiss him again or to hear what Cas thought about his past involving his brother. Well, Dean could imagine what Cas’ opinion on that issue was as he had left without another word.  
‘Dean, are you okay?’ Jo asked, noticing the wall of tears building up in his eyes.  
‘Do you manage on your own for the rest of the day? I don’t feel too well and I’d like to lie down a little.’  
‘Uh, sure,’ she answered, encouragingly squeezing his arm.  
‘Thanks,’ he said and as he had turned his back on her, tears began to roll down his cheeks.

*

When Jo had gone home, Dean started wandering around, from the reception, to the guest lounge, into the breakfast room and back again. All the guests were asleep in their rooms already. Only the lights in the entry area were lit, the other rooms were left in the dark. Dean felt nothing but a heavy pain in his chest.  
As he was standing there, hands resting on the countertop, he heard a car drive up in front of the house. He listened, heard a car door being slam shut and someone walking up to the front door. Dean stepped forward and opened it, and there he was – Cas!  
‘Hey,’ Dean said.  
‘Hey,’ was Cas’ response.  
Dean stepped aside, signaling Cas to come in. When the door had been closed again, Cas began to speak. ‘Dean, I’m so sorry that I just left. I didn’t know how to cope with this situation and so I panicked. Anyway, I want you to know that I don’t judge you for anything you’ve done when you were younger.’  
Dean felt slightly relieved. ‘What about the kiss? Did it mean anything to you?’ he asked.  
‘Of course it did,’ Cas assured him. ‘Dean, I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past year.’  
Dean’s heart jumped in his chest upon hearing that confession.  
‘You did?’ he asked, just to make sure.  
‘Yes, Dean. I’ve missed you so much but I thought it was stupid and I tried to get over you…but I couldn’t.’  
‘I…I’ve been thinking about you too,’ Dean said.  
The air between them was unbearably thick. After a few seconds Cas freed himself from his gaze, rushed forward and firmly pressed his lips on Dean’s, his hands burying into the other man’s hair. Dean took Cas into a tight embrace and parted his lips to make way for Cas’ tongue to slide into his mouth, licking and exploring.  
‘Cas,’ he moaned, as they broke the kiss to catch their breath.  
‘Dean, tell me what you want,’ Cas said and looked him deep in the eyes.  
He smiled and took Cas by his hand. ‘Come with me.’  
Cas followed him through the guest lounge to a door that had a ‘Staff only’ sign on it. Behind the door was a small hallway, a closet on the right. Dean led him to the next room, which was furnished with a queen-size bed, a desk and a chair, a dresser and an armchair, next to a small bookshelf, all of which matched the style dominating the rest of the house.  
‘That’s where I live, if you’ve wondered,’ Dean said.  
‘I like it,’ Cas said and smiled at him. He stepped closer and started kissing Dean again, slowly, for being able to fully savor the intimacy of the moment. After a while they increased the speed of their motions, Cas sucking at the other’s neck, Dean exhaling hot breath against Cas’ ear.  
As Cas reached Dean’s collar with his mouth, he began to untuck the upper buttons of the shirt, allowing him to continue the trail of kisses on Dean’s shoulder blade. Then he started licking the whole way up again to Dean’s jawline and eventually pressed their lips together once more.  
Dean let his hands slide under the striped shirt, onto the smooth skin of his partner’s lower back. Cas withdrew himself to pull the piece of clothing over his head, threw it into a corner of the room, and pushed his body back against Dean’s.  
‘Cas, buttons,’ Dean said out of breath.  
The dark-haired man obeyed, opened the remaining ones and inched the shirt over Dean’s shoulders, letting it fall to the ground. Now their bare chests were rubbing against each other, hands being all over the other’s back.  
Dean was already half hard in his jeans, turning his hip to the side a bit to attain friction between his groin and Cas’ thigh. The feeling of Cas hardening as well sent even more blood rushing down to his cock.  
‘I need you, Cas, I need you,’ Dean moaned against his lover’s lips.  
‘What do you need, Dean?’ Cas asked. He didn’t respond instantly, but kept kissing.  
‘I need you to lose your pants,’ he finally said and Cas reached down to his belt to open it but Dean caught his hands and undid it himself, as well as the button and zipper of the jeans. Then he pushed his hands inside, under the waistband of Cas’ Björn Borg underwear and gripped his ass tightly to which Cas responded with a loud moan. He moved his hands, massaging Cas’ rear.  
‘Just take it off of me, now,’ he demanded at last and Dean pulled Cas’ jeans and underpants down in one move. As he was getting up again, he stopped, his eyes at height with Cas’ erect dick.  
When Cas understood what he had in mind, he touched Dean by the shoulders and said, ‘no, Dean. I’m gonna take care of you this time.’ Then he helped him up again and made sure to get Dean out of his pants as well.  
As they were both entirely undressed, Cas pushed Dean back onto the bed and placed himself above him. He kissed the blonde man again, lustfully, wrapping his fingers around Dean’s dick, starting to gently rub his thumb along the shaft, while his own erection brushed over Dean’s hip and abdomen.  
‘Oh god, Cas!’ Dean exclaimed. ‘So good.’  
Cas grinned against Dean’s lips and said, ‘you like it?’  
‘Mhmm…’  
‘I’m sure, I can do better,’ Cas said and moved down towards Dean’s crotch. He removed his hand, stuck out his tongue and licked the clear liquid of precum off the swollen head. Dean jerked upon the touch, wherefore Cas tucked his hips to the mattress. Then he placed his lips around the shaft and began to suck.  
As Dean’s body tensed up due to the approaching climax, he moaned, ‘Cas, Cas, I’m about to… uhh,’ and Cas made himself ready to receive the salty substance. After Dean had come, Cas swallowed audibly, licked the still leaking rest up and then nestled himself beside Dean.  
‘Do you want me to…?’ Dean asked, reaching down between Cas’ legs.  
‘No, just relax and enjoy. Come here,’ Cas answered, pulling Dean’s hand to his chest, interlacing their fingers, and placing one arm under Dean’s nape.  
They just lay there for a while, in intimate silence.  
‘Do you still have a room for me, because I’m thinking of staying a little longer?’ Cas said and smiled.  
‘I fear you have to share your room with another person this time,’ Dean answered teasingly.  
‘So, who would that be?’  
Dead pointed at himself.  
‘What? Now way, I’m sorry, I have to leave now,’ Cas said playfully, about to get out of the bed, but Dean pulled him back and kissed him.  
‘I don’t think you have a choice,’ he said and they both laughed.

***

A week after their conciliation, Cas had had to leave again. During the time being apart from each other, they used to talk on the phone whenever they would find the time.  
Nine impossibly long days later, Cas came back and head over heels decided to move in with Dean and take part in the B&B business. Six months later he still had no doubt about having made the right decision, and so did Dean. Cas loved Dean and Dean loved Cas… and it was the right kind of love.  
Cas still engaged in charitable activities and had to travel from time to time, but he always had a place to where he wanted to come home to and where his return was longingly awaited.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Feedback is welcome!


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